The Cellphone

                      Behind the Scenes of Twilight: The Books

                                           The Cell Phone

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Bella: -Flaunts new cellphone- Look, Eddie! The beavers gave it to me!

Edward: … What were you doing with the beavers!?!?

Bella: … Uhm… -flaunts cellphone- Look Eddie! The Beavers gave it to me!

Edward:  You didn’t answer my question, noob.

Emmett: -launches self into the room- Did you say boob!?

Carlisle: LOL

Alice, who randomly appeared beside Bella and Edward: LULZ WHOZ ON UR TOP 5?

Bella: well let us see! –Scrolls through cellphone- Alice, my FAVVY SHORT HAIRED SISTA

Alice: -pelvis thrust-

Bella: MacDonalds, Emmett…

Emmett: -triumphant fist-

Bella: MACDONALDS LOL

Rosalie: That’s where I lost my virginity!

Emmett: Silly Rosalie! I’ve never been to Macdonalds…

Rosalie: …

Everybody else: LOL PWNED

Bella: and… last but NOT THE LEAST is my cwuddly Eddie – poo – poo – kwins

Edward: Oh Bella!

Bella: Oh Edward!

Bella & Edward: -slow motion running-

Esme: I BAKED KEWKIES

Carlisle: Woo!

Bella: -birds in background- Edward, I couldn’t imagine this as a more perfect moment…

Edward’s thoughts: u smell gewd…

Bella: -dry hump-

Emmett: now… where eez ma car… -light bulb- I KNOW! Macdonalds!

( Emmett runs to Macdonalds in hopes of finding his long – lost car…)

Emmett: maybe its in this here closet. –Opens closet, only to find Rosalie and the clown-

Everyone else: DESTROYED.

Emmett: I can’t believe this Rosalie! You’re cheating on me with Mr. Macdonald!

Rosalie: That’s not all Emmett… -waves her hand towards Alice- SHE IS MY CHILD

Alice: -rips off face to reveal a half man half woman clown face beneath-

Esme: AND TO THINK I GAVE YOU THAT MAKEUP

( Everyone hears disoriented grunts coming from the deep fryer of Macdonalds )

Alice: -screams bloody murder-

Carlisle: -attempts to go see what it is-

Alice: NO. CARLY, DON’T.

Carlisle: Wut. –Sees NAKED Bella and Edward- MY VIRGIN EYES

Esme: Your eyes aren’t virgin, stooped. –Palm on face-

And they lived happily ever after…